What is it about men? Men approach sex from the bottom up and women from the top down. The trouble is that some men, certainly not all, but some never get the true ecstatic possibilities in sex and just remain below the waist. I’ve had whole relationships with men who never got the love bit, even possibly a whole marriage.
There is this wonderful neural connection that runs through a human’s body linking the genitals with the heart. (It actually runs to the brain, but that can get temporarily disconnected.) There must be a little cut-off valve in men. Maybe it’s the diaphragm --- maybe women talk too much and engage it, or maybe they don’t say the right things.
In my experience if you tell a man you love him too soon, the next thing you see is his back as he exits the door. You have to wait until he mouths the words. Meanwhile, if you’re me, you use a full vocabulary of body language --- gentle hands, soft breath on the neck, moving against his body like a marking cat with velvet skin caresses. How many kisses does it take to teach a man that you love him? How wide the legs, how accommodating to his taste do you need to be to give that message?
My little dog rolls on his back when he lies beside me. If I don’t rub his tummy he nudges me or he makes these grumbling sounds, growling disappointment. When I pet him he knows that we are part of each other, he’s mine and I’m his. He knows we’ll take care of each other. I don’t have to say I love him, the body signals do that work.
The real difference is that when a man approaches a woman for sex he is saying “you can please me tonight”. When a woman begins a sexual relationship with a man she is saying “you could please me forever.” So it’s a question of short sightedness in men. Maybe they don’t understand that love enhances sex. In fact, from my perspective, sex isn’t much good at all without it. Sex is mechanical, love is emotional, and the mixing of the two is a physical and spiritual blast that equals nothing else.
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